WELCOME TO THE VESTIBULE

or DISCO INFERNO 90210

by Linda Eisenstein

 Full Length Plays

Musicals

One Acts

Monologues

Theatre Music

 Dark comedy

10 minutes

1F or 1M

20's & up

The Proctor -- a minor bureaucrat in Purgatory, Inc.-- administers the Eternity Entrance Exam.

 EXCERPT

 

[An exam proctor in Purgatory, with harlequin glasses and a chainsaw voice.]

Now get out your number 2 pencils. Do not --

-- But, but, but. So you saw a white light. And I'm supposed to do what about this? You took a wrong turn, bubbe, this is not my area of responsibility.

Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate your answer sheet.

Do not leave any hanging chads.

Do not leave any question blank. You must --

-- I don't really care who you were expecting: Jesus, Mary, your Aunt Tillie, or sixty-two virgins with grapevines in their hair, you are here with me now. So you'll just have to take the placement test like everybody else. Understand?

(CONTINUES )

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