From STAR WARES: THE NEXT GENERATION

by Linda Eisenstein & James A. Levin

[In which the shadowy and mysterious FIC's -- the Folks-In-Charge -- are revealed to be SLUDGE MONSTERS from the planet Wango Wango, here on a mission to pollute the Earth.]

How much longer do we have to stay here, $#@*%? (unpronounceable alien snarl) Our recruiting contract says: "Increase Sludge, Toxins, Slime, and Goo in the North American sector -- and crush resistance to same." Don't you think we've Terra-toxified enough for the High Council? (counting on his fingers) Chernobyl, Three-Mile Island, Perry...

The EPA is even selling pollution licenses -- my idea.

We must take care of this Bandit. Then, we'll be allowed to return to Wango-Wango. I miss our lovely planet...

On the smoggy brown horizon

in monoxifyin' haze,

we can feel the sun arisin'

burning us with radioactive rays --

When I smell the Flats in Cleveland

or the freeways in L.A.,

I think of lovely Wango Wango

and I dream of better days!

(THEY fling open their capes. Out pop numerous sludgy tentacles, which they wave around to the music.)

 

SLUDGE, SLUDGE, SLUDGE,

Can't get enough of it --

Sludge, sludge, sludge,

Like to stuff myself with it!

I need some toxic waste to boost my morale;

I need to skinny-dip in Love Canal!

SLUDGE, SLUDGE, SLUDGE,

the air so thick it hurts;

Sludge, sludge, sludge,

formaldehyde desserts!

I miss cavorting in that slimy ooze

and if it weren't for GSX,

we'd really have the blues!

Oh, WE LOVE SLUDGE!

I want to sink my teeth in toxins,

I want to gargle with DDT;

I miss my honey-bun's dioxins

and his wine-and-cheese of PCB's.

When I sniff the Cuyahoga

and I splash around in acid rain,

I think of lovely Wango Wango

and I wish I were back home again --

SLUDGE, SLUDGE, SLUDGE!

Syringes on the shore!

Sludge, sludge, sludge --

The glowing albacore!

Fresh air and hummingbirds just ruin my day;

Give me an oil slick in Prudhoe Bay!

SLUDGE, SLUDGE, SLUDGE,

I want to drown in it --

Sludge, sludge, sludge,

A sea of glowing shit!

And though it's awfully hard to roam,

at least we're making Earth like home!

We've buried old plutonium

under caves and soil and trees--

We've buggered up the ozone

and the rivers and the seas --

When we're back in Wango Wango

we'll be big celebrities!

Oh, WE LOVE SLUDGE!

(You'd better believe it!)

WE LOVE SLUDGE!

(You'll be seeing more of it!)

WE LOVE SLUDGE!

Copyright 1989 Linda Eisenstein & James A. Levin

Lyrics by James A. Levin & Linda Eisenstein

Music by Linda Eisenstein

From reviews:

"...Star Wares: The Next Generation shows Cleveland Public Theater at its best: no-holds-barred, home-grown political satire, aimed at targets from global pollution to tax abatement, and full of brash energy and wit...The best thing about the show is the music, with the often nimble lyrics (by Eisenstein and James Levin) that go with it." - Plain Dealer   "This creative Cleveland-born rock musical ranks in professionalism and polish with Godspell or Hair. In its raucous, comical, electric way, it gets the audience pumped up about our endangered environment, and about the insanity of the nuclear arms race...Tight musical arrangements of the all original score and awesome sound effects make Star Wares hard to forget. In fact, after seeing the show once, a week ago, I'm still humming the songs!" - Lisa Lefkort,Tabloid 'Zine

Order a perusal script & CD