|
|
|
|
|
|
Hiding out in a school bathroom, three teenage girls try to deal with innuendo from a popular boy. 15-minute comedy/drama.
|
 Order a script |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Comedy 15 minutes 3F teens
Hiding out in a school bathroom, three teenage girls try to deal with innuendo from a popular boy. 15-minute comedy/drama.
- Productions: Quickies Festival, Live Girls! (Seattle); Love Creek (NYC)
- Published by Theatrefolk in
"An all-out hilarious look at the dynamics between three teenage girls during a 'boy crisis'."
- The Stranger (Seattle)
EXCERPT
[A school bathroom. DAWN, TRISHA, and BETH are conferring.]
DAWN It was him and Jack. Not what Doug said, but...
BETH Who?
TRISHA Jack, his bud, you know, sits behind Levon in her 2nd period?
BETH Oh, sure, Jock Dumb Ass...
DAWN So they crack jokes all the time, the two of them, under their breath -- and I hear Jack say to Doug, sort of not too loud -- but just so I can still hear him, right? -- Oh, God, I can't say this.
BETH & TRISHA DAWN!!!!
DAWN Jack goes: "Her…" (takes a big breath) "Her tits are okay. But you need, like, a microscope to see them."
BETH What?!
DAWN I thought I'd die.
TRISHA He said that, with her in the next seat, Beth.
DAWN Right there, I thought I'd die. Boom: floor, please eat me.
BETH What a pig man. Oh, man, they're such creeps, those two. You should have slugged them.
DAWN Right. Like that would really help.
BETH Whap! Right up the side of their dumb heads. Make their teeth ring 'til fifth period.
TRISHA And then Doug...
BETH And then Doug says? What?
DAWN Well, see -- that's it. It's not what he says, I don't HEAR him say a word,
TRISHA See, Dawn, that was my point, so why be so mad at him,
DAWN But, Trisha! I mean, the way he looked at me. Doug. He, like, just LOOKS at me,
BETH Oh, God --
DAWN With this lame smile, like "Uh, oh, she heard you". And he's, like, kind of pink around the ears, and I think, "Oh God, he means me, they do mean me!"
TRISHA But Doug likes you, Dawn. Sure, he hangs out with Jack, but he still --
BETH Oh, please, Trisha. Make me puke, why don't you.
DAWN And I can't let on like I heard them, so I have to put on this act, and I can't say a word, 'cause they'd just claim it was -- just some babe they saw in an ad, or in a flick, you know, they don't mean me, of course not.
BETH Who cares who they meant? It's still icky as hell.
TRISHA Yeah, it's gross, I can see that, but...
BETH Dumb ass jock pigs. Doug and his stupid bud, Jack -- the Man Who Can't Find His Ass with Both Hands.
TRISHA But still, it was Jack who said it, not Doug.
BETH Who the hell cares?! Doug was worse! He just sat there.
TRISHA You weren't there, Beth. I mean, you might have sat there, too. I don't know. I mean, what do you say, when guys say stuff like that?
BETH You say: "Don't talk like that in front of me, you ape. I don't want to hear what you think about some girl's breasts out loud. Keep it in your lame dumb ass head."
(CONTINUES)