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A weekend trip to a "clothing
optional" hot springs proves challenging for an engaged
couple.
EXCERPT
[Outdoors. The sound of crickets. MARY ELLEN is wearing
a terry cloth robe; JACK has a towel wrapped around his waist;
his hair is wet.]
MARY ELLEN
A whole weekend of this!
JACK
It's not that bad, you know. The hot pool IS relaxing. Kind
of soapy. The water holds you up.
MARY ELLEN
I'll pass, thanks.
JACK
And c'mon, smell the air. Incense cedars. It's beautiful country
out here.
(HE watches somebody walk by, follows them with his eyes.)
MARY ELLEN
Yes, you can hardly keep your eyes off the scenery. God! (gets
up) I'm going...I don't know where I'm going. (sits down
again)
JACK
Honey -- calm down.
MARY ELLEN
Did you notice that Ginger has a tattoo of a cartoon chipmunk
on her right ass cheek? I shouldn't have to know that about her.
JACK
Look, I said I was sorry.
MARY ELLEN
This is Todd and Ginger's idea of relaxation? A nudist...
JACK
It's a clothing optional hot springs, Mary Ellen.
MARY ELLEN
It doesn't look freaking optional to me. I'm the only one
in 2 square miles who doesn't have all her parts dangling out.
JACK
I've seen a couple other bathing suits.
MARY ELLEN
Right, on the ten year old. Who in God's name takes their
ten year old to a place like this? Like I want some pre-adolescent
inventorying my moles.
JACK
So keep your clothes on.
MARY ELLEN
You better believe I will. If I had packed a burnoose, I'd
be wearing it right now.
(CONTINUES)
Order
a scriptAlso included in INTIMATE RELATIONS
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