Sample scene & song

By Linda Eisenstein and James A. Levin

(A meadow outside the Court of KING ARTHUR. As PERCIVAL approaches the menacing RED KNIGHT, armed with nothing but his hand-whittled javelin, the HERALD appears. SHE beams, like an on-camera reporter.)

HERALD ACTION - ADVENTURE! TIME FOR A FIGHT A CALLOW YOUNG LAD AGAINST THE RED KNIGHT! ACTION - ADVENTURE! WATCH THE BLOOD FLOW! WHO DO YOU THINK IS GONNA WIN? EVERYONE, TIME TO TUNE IN! READY, SET, GO! COURT ACTION - ADVENTURE - FIGHT! ACTION - ADVENTURE - FIGHT!

PERCIVAL GOOD SIR KNIGHT, LAY DOWN YOUR ARMS NO ONE WISHES YOU ANY HARM IN ARTHUR'S NAME, YOU MUST SURRENDER! RED KNIGHT WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU'RE A CONTENDER? PERCIVAL CAMELOT HAS SENT ME ON THIS QUEST RED KNIGHT WELL, THEN, THANKS TO "GOOD KING ARTHUR", I'LL LAY YOUR SOUL TO REST! (A skirmish.)

(Seeing PERCIVAL, the RED KNIGHT laughs his double-laugh) RED KNIGHT OH YOU PRETTY BOY CAVALIER TELL WHOEVER DIRECTED YOU HERE THAT SENDING A PUNK IS A VERY POOR JEST -- GO BACK TO MAMA, YOU LITTLE PEST! CHORUS ACTION - ADVENTURE! - FIGHT! ACTION - ADVENTURE! - FIGHT! RED KNIGHT NO ONE WILL MAKE MERRY WHEN THE PAGE IS SENT TO CARRY YOUR LOVELY HEAD DETACHED FROM YOUR BLOODY CHEST!

CHORUS
ACTION - ADVENTURE! - FIGHT!
ACTION - ADVENTURE! - FIGHT!
ACTION - ADVENTURE! - FIGHT!

(As the COURT continues to chant, RED KNIGHT & PERCIVAL spar. PERCIVAL is clearly outmatched. The RED KNIGHT is the cat to PERCIVAL's mouse. RED KNIGHT laughs. PERCIVAL recognizes the opportunity, and in slo-mo movement, kills the RED KNIGHT. The RED KNIGHT falls into his arms, dead. PERCIVAL's mood changes for victorious to horrified.) (An explosion of crowd noise. Relieved but sickened by the violence, ALLISON runs offstage.)

ARTHUR
Yee hah! What a miraculous moment. We should mark his victory with a great feast.

SIR KAY
A feast, my liege. I shall alert the goat boys.

ARTHUR
Kay, what saint's day is marked for Monday next?

SIR KAY
None other than St. Swithin's Day.

ARTHUR
Perfect. On St. Swithin's Days all taxes will be forgiven. In honor of the victory of the new Red Knight!

(dead pin-drop silence in the Court)

SIR KAY
King Arthur, sir…this is not the best time to show softness -

ARTHUR
St. Swithin's Day tithes are forgiven. It is decreed.

(Exeunt all but PERCIVAL. In the background we see the Court preparing for a feast - a juggler, etc. Meanwhile, PERCIVAL has been cradling at the body of the RED KNIGHT in his arms, like a Pieta.)

PERCIVAL SO STILL -- SO STILL -- WHY WERE THEY CHEERING? IT'S NOT A GAME -- CAN THEY BE CHEERING? I TOOK MY AIM, NOW SOMEBODY'S DEAD -- I DON'T EVEN KNOW HIS NAME. WAKE UP RED KNIGHT, TELL ME OF YOUR PAST, WHO ARE YOU, FROM WHERE ARE YOU, FOR WHAT ARE YOU FIGHTING? WHAT KING SENT YOU? WHAT HAS BROUGHT YOU HERE? WHAT WAS YOUR MISSION, OR WERE YOU HIRED FOR TREASURES? WHAT WERE YOUR WORRIES, YOUR FANTASIES, YOUR PLEASURES? DID YOU DO WHAT YOU NEEDED TO? AM I NOW THE SAME AS YOU?

Scene I-6 THE WORTHY MAN

(PERCIVAL is now dragging the red armor. He is tired and sees MORGAN, sweeping his path before him.)

PERCIVAL
Good woman, would you be so kind to come to the aid of a young knight?

MORGAN
Nothing would delight me more, young sir.

PERCIVAL
I have come into possession of this armor but know not how to wear it or make it fit.

MORGAN
Ah lad. I fear it will fit thee soon enough. If you would accept advice instead of aid, I would direct you to divest it, let it fit another.

PERCIVAL
Would you help fasten it onto me?

MORGAN
Ah no, my disposition disallows it. I avoid contact with base metals and all their enchantments.

(Enter the WORTHY MAN and entourage of DAMSELS, who sweep PERCIVAL away for his media grooming.)

MORGAN
But here comes a worthy one who would gladly teach you of the subtleties of metals. It would give him great pleasure.

PERCIVAL
Thanks be to you.

(Lights up on the WORTHY MAN fitting the armor onto PERCIVAL.)

WORTHY MAN
Of course it'll fit. Just takes -- my, you're a strapping lad, aren't you? -- a bit of adjustment.

PERCIVAL
I can hardly breathe.

WORTHY MAN
In battle, breathing is over-rated. Don't slouch, suck it in, there's a good lad.

PERCIVAL
The look on that young knight's face --

WORTHY MAN
A knight cannot afford such a memory.

PERCIVAL
But he was so -

WORTHY MAN
Lad - enough! Attitude. Attitude is what you need to get you through the day. Pay attention: A lesson on how to be a worthy knight.

Don't look away when I speak and don't speak.
Don't ever let me know what you're thinking if you're thinking and don't blink.
Don't betray your heart by revealing your feeling, and don't sink
To the levels of those around you
Who act loutish or clownish and joke.
It's impolite and ill mannerly and could bring you ill repute.

PERCIVAL
But at home my mother bade me --

WORTHY MAN
Your mother! Hmph. Attend.

(Music begins.)

WORTHY MAN
IT TAKES TIME TO DEVELOP
A MASCULINE STYLE
JUST GIVE A NOD, OR A LIFT OF YOUR BROW -
THINK GARY COOPER:
AND DON'T CRACK A SMILE -
STRIDE INTO THE CASTLE,
GOIN' "I GOT YOU, NOW!"

PUT ON YOUR ARMOR,
AND STIFFEN YOUR SPINE
DON'T WEAR YOUR HEART ON YOUR SLEEVE -
IF YOU GET WOUNDED,
SAY "SHUCKS, I FEEL FINE!"
DON'T EVEN WINCE,
AND YOU'LL MAKE 'EM BELIEVE

THAT YOU'RE THE
STRONG, SILENT TYPE
THEY LOVE THE STRONG, SILENT TYPE
TALK TOO MUCH AND YOU'RE A BORE --
LEAVE THEM HANKERING FOR MORE --
THEY REALLY GO FOR THE
STRONG, SILENT TYPE

PERCIVAL
But my mother said I should - oh, right.

WORTHY MAN  IT TAKES TIME TO DEVELOP A MANLY IDEAL SO PICK YOUR MENTORS APPROPRIATELY -- DON'T SAY "MY MAMA…" IT LACKS SEX APPEAL -- QUOTE FROM THE GOOD BOOK, OR PLATO, OR ME - KNIGHTS NEED AN IMAGE OF HARD, TEMPERED STEEL TO MAKE A TREMBLING DAMSEL FEEL SAFE - SO PUT ON YOUR ARMOR, TRY HARD NOT TO FEEL -- YOU BE HER HERO, LET HER BE THE WAIF - WORTHY MAN, PERCIVAL, DAMSELS THEY/WE LOVE THE STRONG, SILENT TYPE AND HONEY, BABY, IT'S NO HYPE -- IN A CRISIS, IN A JAM, THEY/WE PREFER THE MARLBORO MAN - SO MAKE YOURSELF INTO THE STRONG, SILENT TY-Y-PE!

PERCIVAL IT TAKES TIME TO DEVELOP A SOLDIERLY FRAME DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST WADE INTO THE FIGHT - WORTHY MAN There you go. PERCIVAL FOR KNIGHTS ALWAYS PLAY AT A CURIOUS GAME PERCIVAL & WORTHY MAN ONE SIDE HAS TO LOSE, BUT BOTH CAN FEEL THEY'RE RIGHT! ALL YES, KNIGHTS WHO WILL FIGHT FOR THEIR COUNTRY AND KING END UP IN A GLORIOUS PLACE SO PUT ON YOUR ARMOR, YOU/I WON'T FEEL A THING! WE'LL GO TO VALHALLA WITH SMILES ON OUR FACE - WE NEED THE STRONG, SILENT TYPE AND EVEN IF THE PEACENIKS SNIPE, PERCIVAL HEROES NEVER NEED TO BRAG -- SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND WAVE THE FLAG! ALL AND MAKE YOURSELF INTO THE STRONG, SILENT TY-Y-PE!

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