Here at Acme we deal in reality. We know what the contemporary
corporate market is looking for: warm bodies, hungry bodies,
desperate bodies that will chase the carrot and bend to the stick
until they drop, even though anyone with one half-blind eye can
see that the days of a permanent pensioned labor force has gone
the way of the dodo.
In short: temporary employees are toilet paper. Toilet paper!
We know that. They know that. And at Acme, we want YOU to know
that. Because if you are toilet paper, fit only to wipe the ass
of the system, then you might as well be GENERIC toilet paper.
It's all summed up in our Acme philosophy: Ack Me If I Care.
See, that is the beauty in being an Acme client. When you
work for Acme, you do not need to care. These bastards aren't
paying you enough for you to care. If they want you to dress
like you care, or pretend like you care, they should have to
pay more. Just like with toilet paper. It costs extra to get
the squeezably soft brand. At Acme, we don't care about your
rough edges. Leave splinters in the system's hemorrhoids -- ack
me if I care. For $8.50 an hour, no benefits? It's all they deserve,
honey-bunny. (CONTINUES )
